The story goes that a public sinner was excommunicated and forbidden entry to the church. He took his woes to God. ‘They won’t let me in, Lord, because I am a sinner.’ -‘What are you complaining about?’ said God. ‘They won’t let Me in either’, Brennan Manning.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness, Emo Philips
A man goes to a church with a large, very disproportionate knife which would instantly kill anyone it hit. The priest asks:
– How could you bring this weapon to the Lord’s House?
– I always take it with me just in case someone dares to contradict me. I hate people who disagree with me on literally anything. I am an atheist, are you a Christian?
– No, of course not and honestly, I wouldn’t advise it to you either.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me – they’re cramming for their final exam, George Carlin.
A man was beaten up by robbers on the road. He lay on the side of the road, half dead.
A humanist came along, saw him and passed by on the other side.
A Samaritan came by and also crossed to the other side.
Finally, a modern Christian came along, looked at the man and said: “Whoever did this to you needs some help".
“What’s black and white, black and white and black and white?”
A nun falling down the stairs.
This website uses cookies to improve your navigation experience. By continuing, you are consenting to our use of cookies, in accordance with our Cookies Policy and Website Terms and Conditions of use.