You are not your results

The men where you live," said the little prince, “grow five thousand roses in the same garden — and they do not find in it what they are looking for.” “They do not find it,” I replied. “And yet what they are looking for could be found in one single rose, or in a little water.” “Yes, that is true,” I said. And the little prince added: “But the eyes are blind. One must look with the heart,” The little prince.

What you are is one thing and the results you get are quite another matter.

If you fail, you are not a failure. If you’ve done something wrong, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re a meanie. It might be that you had a very bad day, you made a big mistake, you didn’t think about the consequences of your actions, you may have not tried hard enough, you did not want it badly enough, or others have been much more fortunate and successful than you.

A failure is not always a mistake, it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying, B. F. Skinner.

Whatever you do, don’t let anyone fool you. Your results are not always directly related to your effort or controlled by you.

Of course, you should not buy into excuses and stories about why it didn’t work, but be responsible for the results you get in life because they are likely to be related to the quality of your effort. Therefore, you must observe the consequences of your actions and take steps to learn, improve, and achieve success.

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure, Colin Powell.

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts, Winston Churchill

However, you should never attach your happiness to results. Happiness is an active choice, not a result.

Being happy is something that each of us determines, it is not something that we find outside of ourself, it is within us and our choice, Catherine Pulsifer.

Don’t attach your happiness to a specific outcome, to anyone or anything. This is a recipe for disaster, for becoming another unhappy person.

Let’s say that you get this wonderful job. After a while, you will realize that it is not as perfect as you thought it was. Perhaps it becomes tedious work and you find yourself yearning for the weekend. The opposite may happen, too. The job that initially was very exciting and challenging, it may become very stressful, and as your health deteriorates with age and your responsibilities increase, you find it harder to cope with the demands and pressures from your post.

Imagine that you marry a woman with a gorgeous body with plenty of curves. As time goes by, her beauty will fade like a rose at a summer’s end. Besides, sex is overrated in our culture, sex without love doesn’t give us real happiness, just a short-lived satisfaction. Love makes us happy. Love is not about sex, it’s about being with someone who makes you happy and feel comfortable being yourself in a way nobody else can, someone who really cares and will always be there for you.

Happiness is within ourselves, and in the quality and depth of our relationships. It is about enjoying simple things in life, and being authentic, content with what we have and who we are, generous, and kind.