How to deal with liars & why should you avoid telling lies

Lies no matter how big or small always crack the very foundation of trust, Anonymous.

Perhaps, you may want to read our free ebook A flying sandwich with your kids for a brief introduction to this trustworthy topic.

The liar is someone who cheats people, who intentionally deceives other people and creates confusion, who uses unsubstantiated half-truths, distortions of facts and data, and just plain false information, and who hides relevant information about the issue being discussed.

Sadly, the Western media has been reporting half-truths and barefaced lies like “the unprovoked attack on Ukraine”. They seem to forget that Russia sees its security threaten because the constant NATO’s expansion to the east, Russia’s sphere of influence (America has definitely a sphere of influence in most of Latin America, e.g., the Cuba’s missile crisis), Ukraine’s coup and consequently unwillingness to make the political concessions necessary for the Minsk Peace Deal’s implementation.

What to do if someone lies to you?

• Firstly, you should consider that it is very difficult, I would say almost impossible, to conceal the truth: “Lies have short legs.”

You can fool all the people some of the time and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.

How does it happen? A friend, your partner, an acquaintance or a colleague may gossip about the issued being lied about behind your back. You or someone else may accidentally reveal it with a inadvertent slip of the tongue that reveals a hidden truth. Your non-verbal communication may betray you even before you speak: eye contact avoidance, restlessness, nervousness, body tension, stiff movements, touching the nose or ear, placing objects between you and them, etc.

Moreover, time will provide many opportunities to bring out the truth. For example, a cheated woman may discover a recurring number on the phone bill; her husband may use another name to refer to someone or, even worse, to her; a family member, friend or acquaintance who have seen him with another woman walking, kissing or drinking a beer could become the smoking gun.

• When someone fools you, do not get very angry. Keep your cool and show that you are interested in discussing this in a civilized and respectful manner. If you are angry with someone who is in control of herself or himself, s/he can easily win the fight. On the contrary, show confidence, maturity, and integrity, explain what you have observed assertively but respectfully, i.e., non-aggressively. Try to make her/him understand that this is wrong and wicked.

• If the liar denies the facts and/or persists in that behavior, ignore him/her. Do you know why we have two ears? Lies and insults go through one ear and sure like hell, they should come out of the other.

I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it, George Bernard Shaw.

Why should you avoid telling lies?

1. The truth will eventually come out sooner or later and your reputation and authority will be damaged.

2. Lying hurts you more than anyone else, nothing good comes out from it and people will hesitate to trust you again.

   I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you, Friedrich Nietzsche.

3. Lying to a police officer, a doctor, or a judge, can get you into a lot of trouble.

   A lie is like a snowball; the longer it goes on, the bigger it gets, Martin Luther King.

4. The liar sees with dismay and sadness how his lies leads to more and bigger lies, they often get tangled up in an increasingly erratic, confusing, and chaotic communication from which is impossible, as time goes by, to escape and conceal the truth.

5. Keep your word and demonstrate personal integrity. On the contrary, no one will believe you when you really need them to, like in the fairy tale “The boy who cried wolf!” The boy tricked some villagers into thinking that a wolf was attacking his flock of sheep and made fun of them at their expense. However, when the wolf finally came, no one believed the boy when he cried out, and the wolf ate his flock and in some fairy tale’s versions the boy himself.

6. Lies are harmful, wicked, and toxic. They can destroy relationships. They hurt those we love and care about the most.

In short, always tell the truth no matter what, so everyone will see that you are honest and trust-worthy. Thus, if any conflict arises, people will be more likely to support you, they will believe your side of the story. This does not mean that you have to say everything you think or know, talk only about what is necessary, appropriate, convenient, relevant, and helpful. Remember that it is better to be king of your silence than slave of your words.