The truth is not sad, but there is no remedy, Joan Manuel Serrat.
When it comes to men that are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple: just ignore everything they say, and only pay attention to what they do. It’s that simple. It’s that easy, Randy Pausch.
Appearances can be deceiving. There are a good number of people that show an image of themselves, maybe “wearing their smile as a disguise,” that does not correspond to their true personality in order to gain something (to have sex, to get married, to have company, to be successful, to hide what they are really like, etc..), and under other circumstances, reveal their true colours, a very different image that is far less friendly and nice.
A relationship where one or both partners do not express or show their true self is doomed from the start.
When and how can you notice that?
Do not worry my friend. If you wait patiently long enough, you will see this behavior. Time is of the essence. You just need time to be with your partner through many moments, circumstances, and situations, the more the better.
Talk less, practice active listening, pay attention to him/her and the information your friends and family members are telling you. If there is a substantial discrepancy between your vision and theirs, make sure you have enough time in order to understand what is really going on before making any important decisions that you might regret (sexual intercourse, living together, having kids, etc.).