Love is not about sex, going on fancy dates, or showing off. It’s about being with a person who makes you happy in a way nobody else can, Anonymous.
Why do you say love when you mean sex? Sex is important, we all know that. We are sexual beings and we all crave for intimacy in our relationships. However, its importance will decline over the years.
A relationship based on physical appearance, socioeconomic status, wealth, sex, etc. is like a man who builds his house on sand. When the rain floods come (disease, redundancy at work, aging, etc.) and the winds beat against the house, it will collapse into rubble.
A house built on rock has its foundations firmly rooted in love, dialogue, forgiveness, patience, and understanding. Storms and hurricanes will come, but the house will not collapse.
If you are a woman, you should consider that men are promiscuous by nature. However, women who make a much greater investment in reproduction and childcare are designed to find the best mate to bear offspring with, to be more choosy. Therefore, before you get into a sexual situation that will be very difficult to control and reverse, take a deep breath, and think: is that what you really want? Is the relationship mature enough? Is everything under control? How will you practice safe sex?
If your answer is that you’re not ready, tell him firmly and assertively. If you do not want to have sex before marriage, make your decision known up front. If he/she does not respect your decision, move on, you should end your relationship, as hard as it might be.
When boredom and fatigue are present in a long-term and stable relationship consider these ideas:
Sex is healthy because it makes you live longer and better, releases tension and stress, helps you sleep, strengthens the immune system, etc.
A good sexual relationship makes us happier, improves mutual comprehension, complicity, and intimacy between both partners.
Fight the tedious routine with imagination and good humour. Invite your partner to a romantic evening, change spaces and postures, try games, etc. Remember, sex doesn’t have to mean intercourse, it’s all about love and care. It includes sincere compliments, teasing, loving words, foreplay, kissing, touching, cuddling, masturbation, oral and anal sex, sex toys, etc.
Leave your problems, worries, and troubles out of bed, let them go.
Avoid smoking, alcohol, and drugs. Limit the time you spend in front of the idiot box, surfing the Internet, or playing video games. On the contrary, exercise more, keep an active lifestyle, and do more outdoors activities.
If your body has changed and your sex life is less frequent, perhaps less rewarding, consider that you are never too old to have sex. Remember that what matters is not “orgasm,” but rather making each other feel special. It is the quality of your relationship, the intimacy, the closeness, and showing him/her that you care.
Do not limit your sex life, explore different things and enjoy one another. However, it is not necessary to try everything, for instance, oral and anal sex are not necessary -don’t feel pressured to engage in something you’re not comfortable with! Besides, keep private things, like sex, private.
The rule of thumb is this: talk openly and honestly to your partner about sex, discuss your likes and dislikes, your feelings, needs, and limits, and find out what might work best for you and your partner.