Love is not about sex, going on fancy dates, or showing off. It’s about being with a person who makes you happy in a way nobody else can, Anonymous.
Why do men say love when they mean sex? Sex is important, we all know that. We are sexual beings and we all crave for intimacy and bonding in our relationships. Sex is healthy and pleasurable, a stress relief in a very stressful world and unfortunately, it’s not getting easier or better anytime soon. However, its importance will decline over the years.
A relationship based on physical appearance, socioeconomic status, wealth, fame, or power is like a man who builds his house on sand. When the rain, floods, and winds beats against the house (disease, redundancy at work, aging, etc.), it will collapse into rubble.
A house built on rock has its foundations firmly rooted in love, dialogue, forgiveness, patience, ability to compromise, and understanding. Storms and hurricanes will surely come, but the house will not collapse, it will stand firm.
If you are a woman, you should consider that men are promiscuous by nature. However, women who make a much greater investment in reproduction and childcare are designed to find the best possible mate to bear offspring with, to be more choosy. Therefore, before you get into a sexual situation that will be very difficult to control and reverse, take a deep breath, and think: is that what you really want? Is the relationship mature enough? Is everything under control? How will you practice safe sex? Which method of contraception should you use?
If your answer is that you’re not ready, tell him firmly and assertively. If you do not want to have sex before marriage, make your decision known to him up front. If he/she does not respect your decision, move on, you should end your relationship right away, as hard as it might be.
When boredom and fatigue are present in a long-term and stable relationship consider these ideas:
Sex is healthy and pleasurable because it makes you live longer and better, releases tension and stress, helps you to sleep deeper and better at night, and strengthens the immune system.
A good sexual relationship makes us happier, improves mutual comprehension, complicity, emotional bonding, intimacy and connection between both partners.
Fight the tedious routine with imagination and good sense of humour. Write her a love poem, invite your partner to a romantic evening, change spaces and postures, try games, or wear a revealing outfit at home for that special someone. Remember, sex doesn’t have to mean intercourse, it’s all about love, intimacy, and care. It includes sincere compliments, teasing, loving words, foreplay, kissing, touching, cuddling, masturbation, oral and anal sex, vibrators, sex toys, lubes, and other accessories.
Leave your problems, worries, and troubles out of bed, let them go, and simply enjoy each other’s love and kisses.
Avoid smoking, drinking alcohol, and taking drugs. Limit the time you spend in front of the idiot box, surfing the Internet, social media or playing video games. On the contrary, exercise more, eat a healthy and balanced diet, sleep well, keep an active lifestyle, and do more outdoors activities.
If your body has changed and your sex life is less frequent, perhaps less rewarding, consider that you are never too old to have sex. Just remember, what matters is not orgasm and sexual intercourse, but rather making each other feel unique and very special. It is about the quality of your relationship, the intimacy, the closeness, and bonding.
Do not limit your sex life, explore different things and enjoy one another. However, it is not necessary to try everything, for instance, oral and anal sex are not necessary for a healthy relationship -you should not feel under pressure to do something you’re not comfortable with! Besides, keep private things, like sex, in the private sphere.
The rule of thumb is this: talk openly and honestly to your partner about sex, discuss your likes and dislikes, your feelings, needs, and limits, and find out what might work best for you and your partner now, and as time goes by, adapt to your new reality.