Patience

Good things come to those who wait, proverb.

He that can have patience can have what he will, Benjamin Franklin.

Deep dialogue requires honesty ― everyone needs to speak their truth―, time, and that each person actively listens, respects, and gives due consideration to the perspectives, ideas, and insights that each party brings to the table.

It allows us to identify our differences (beliefs, values, goals, etc.), find a common ground, and build understanding, goodwill, and stronger relationships amongst ourselves.

If you really want to understand and know someone, you need to talk less and listen more, _you should spend time with him/her in different moods, emotions, and circumstance_s, and this requires patience.

We are the product of our experiences and choices. We are also the product of many moments. Some of them are unforgettable, and yet, others we wish we could forget. That’s why we need time to get to know the real thing, which is, the real you, without lies or masks.

Notice the difference between taking time to get to know one another, to talk, discuss, and compromise the key aspects of the relationship (marriage, money, children, etc.) and avoiding conflicts by walking away from certain situations, not talking about sensitive and potentially divisive issues, and denying reality like an ostrich with its head in the sand, that does nothing to deal with problems.

This is undoubtedly a bad attitude which can poison and endanger your relationship unnecessarily. When it comes to grieving the loss of a loved one, you need time and patience. However, when a conflict arises in your romantic relationship, you need to face it. It is important to be assertive, and not aggressive, passive or manipulative. Be cool, calm, and collected when dealing with problems, conflicts, and stressful situations.

You also need time to be together doing things you both enjoy, fun and enjoyable activities that bring you both pleasure. Create times and spaces to talk about everything and nothing. Make time for intimacy and sex with your partner no matter how busy and tired you are.

How do you handle conflicts? Be humble and understand that “it takes two to tango.” In other words, be a little introspective with yourself, ask yourself how you have contributed to the conflict, accept your responsibility, and apologise if necessary. Do not blame him/her, but rather express how you feel. Listen actively, share responsibility, but be assertive to voice your ideas and opinions freely. You both need to dialogue, compromise, and take effective measures to overcome the problems.