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Interpersonal attraction

The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only, Victor Hugo.

Interpersonal attraction is the attraction between people which leads to friendships and romantic relationshipsHowever, it is very important to point out that one thing is tostart a relationship and quite another to keep it.

The main factors for interpersonal attraction are:

No matter what anybody says, relationships are based on physical attraction. The first time I saw my wife, it was pure animal whatever, Denis Leary

No matter what anybody says, relationships are based on physical attraction. The first time I saw my wife, it was pure animal whatever, Denis Leary

However, many studies have shown consistently that physical appearance is very important for men. On the other hand, women seek intelligence, wealth, power, and ethnicity, which also makes sense from an evolutionary point of view. In other words, men seek unintentionally women with high reproductive value ― women who can bear children ― for mating purposes which is related to age and healthiness. This is indicated by a woman’s physical appearance, e.g. smooth skin, large firm breasts, youth, symmetric face, and wide hips - firm breasts to feed the young and wide hips for an easy delivery.

In contrast, a woman is attracted to males who have characteristics that indicate social and economic status (valuable resources so they can provide for the family), as well as being humorous and kind (so they are willing to share these resources).

As a consequence, contrary to what they say and report, most women take good care of their physical appearance. It is very well known that pretty women have more friends and pursuers. However, as the relationship progresses, the physical element takes bit by bit a back seat and other characteristics become more relevant: intelligence, honesty, kindness, generosity, loyalty, sincerity, etc.

It is as simple as it is profound. Friendships and romantic relationships are likely to develop with those that a person comes into contact with. The more someone sees and interacts with a person, the more likely he or she is to develop a friendship or become a sexual partner. It does make sense because it increases the chances (accessibility) of fortuitous contacts, enhances the probability of friendship, and even of marriage. Besides, people living in the same neighbourhood tend to share the same ethnicity, ideology, values, religion, and economic status (like-attracts-like).

It is based on the same principle that the mere-exposure effect, which states that the more you are exposed to a stimulus (a person, a commercial product, a political candidate, etc.), the more you will come to like it.

It is widely used in electoral propaganda and advertising. Both commercial products and political candidates are marketed using this effect. Let’s face it, we all suffer from advertising fatigue. Marketing has become ubiquitous (television, Internet, social media, video sharing sites, operating systems and apps) in everyday life and influences a lot of our behavior and decisions. However, too much exposure might have negative consequences.

We like those who we see and interact with regularly

We like those who we see and interact with regularly

Therefore, we are all attracted to what is familiar to us and repeated exposure to certain people will likely increase our attraction toward them. We fear the unknown, we seek security in familiarity as the key to our survival, this is nothing more than another example of the evolutionary component of our behavior.

Let’s comment other factors suggested in self-help literature, but not proven.

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