How to deal with envious people & cope with envy

Envy is an insult to oneself, Yevgeny Yevtushenko.

Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth. Each of us has something to give that no one else has, Anoymous.

Jealous, envious people want what others have -money, looks, jobs, houses, friends, romantic partners, accomplishments, success, fame or social status-, but laugh and rejoice at other people's misfortunes and failures. It is basically a strong negative emotion that poison our minds and souls without even realizing it. It is a source of discomfort, sadness, anger, and hate.  

What shall we do?

• Do not be angry with envious people. At the end of the day, they are insecure and feel less fortunate and valuable than others. Envy only expresses feelings of inferiority, dissatisfaction with oneself, and prevents happiness, success, and well-being. It spoils the capacity for enjoyment in life. It also prevents them from learning and growing from others’ wisdom, knowledge, skills, and virtues.
• Try to develop empathy with the person who is jealous of you.
• Don’t boast about your achievements, knowledge, looks, skills, and wealth, it will only exacerbate the problem. Don’t toot your own horn too often. On the contrary, be humble, kind, and meek. Be confident, but not over-confident.
• Do not take negative, derogatory, hostile or mean comments to heart. Don’t retaliate. Consider that two don’t fight if one doesn’t want. It is better to refuse to get involved in a heated confrontation where bitter words or insults are exchanged with them.
• If they can’t do anything against you or don’t have the guts to do so, just ignore them or cut off the relationship.

  Envy can drive people to behave badly, so you may become the victim of gossip, rumours, exclusion (either subtle or in-your-face), abuse, or violence.

• On the contrary, if they can harm you in a meaningful way, talk to them tactfully and sensitively, take a reflective, active listening, not confrontational or judgemental and collaborative approach, and try to resolve the problem with dialogue. If this approach is not possible, stay away from them and their circle of control and influence.
• Live a more active lifestyle, do more exercise, sports, play outside, and outdoor activities, and watch less television.
• If an envious boss or coworker is making your life miserable, it’s time to head for greener pastures.
  If your workspace is too toxic, just resign. Your mental and physical health and well-being are far more important than the salary they are paying you. If you lose your health, you will lose everything!

Tips to Cope with Envy

• The most important thing is to acknowledge that you are feeling envy. This is the first step to modify and stop a behavior that won’t yield you anything positive or good.
• Be true to yourself, do not lie to yourself, identify your insecurities, flaws, and erroneous zones.
• Pride and envy are two sides of the same coin. Replace pride with humility and a healthy self-esteem, gratitude, tolerance, and kindness.
• Learn to love and appreciate who you are as you are, what you do, what you have achieved, and what you have. Love yourself as you are, not as you think you should be. You are very worth it, special, unique, and beautiful.
• You are good enough! You are worth it! Build a healthy self-esteem. How to do so? Avoid negative thinking (keep your flaws and failures in perspective. You can work on them, but be realistic, do not expect perfection from yourself) and comparing to others. Practice self-love, self-care, self-acceptance, and kindness. Life is full of challenges, problems and obstacles, ups and downs. We cannot control the cards we’re dealt, just how we play the hand. In other words, we cannot control what happens to us, but we can certainly control how we react and respond to certain situations.
• Count your many blessings, not your problems. Name them one by one. Be grateful and satisfied with what you are and have.
  The richest man is not he who has the most but he who needs the least. The best currencies are happiness, health, and inner peace.
• A little benign envy may be beneficial when it aides in self-motivation and self-improvement. Let it fuel your growth and development. However, there is a better alternative, stop comparing yourself with others, stay positive, and focus on your goals and objectives.
• Don’t let job envy spill over into your personal life. Keep your work and personal life separate.
• Remind yourself that nobody has it all. You don’t know a person’s full story. Each person has problems, challenges, shortcomings, and their share of drama and misery. Ideally, you may be able to celebrate and rejoice in the successes of others and learn from them.
• Avoid competitive people and those who habitually value the wrong things, such as looks, wealth, fame, etc. Surround yourself with positive, kind, confident, and grateful people.
• Be aware of the perversive effect of publicity. They routinely fan the envious flame. It is just an evil deception to make you buy stuff you don’t need with money that you don’t have.
• Ask other people, such as your partner, friends, relatives, etc., about what envy is like for them and how they are overcoming it or coping with it.