Boost your self-esteem II

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other, Abraham Lincoln.

A good and heathy self-esteem requires:

• Self-knowledge is the beginning of wisdom and self-improvement; without it we can’t really be true to ourselves, love ourselves, find the right partner, or live out our authentic self. You need to be able to observe and analyze reality effectively, that is, know who you really are, where your flaws and vulnerabilities lie, and what your strengths and talents are. In addition, you should trust, value, and love yourself regardless of your job, age, sex, earnings or physical appearance, as a unique, special, and beautiful individual.

  

• Accept your mistakes, flaws, and limitations as part of your growing and learning process, and an integral part of your identity.

  This is the foundation to be able to take risks, to try out new paths in order to reach your goals, to change and adapt to the ever-evolving circumstances: value who you are, the actions and decisions you’ve made, fight for your ideas and believe in yourself and your possibilities.

  Above all, understand that success only comes after failures. Don’t overreact or get angry at yourself if you do something wrong, make a mistake or face a big setback. You are a person, not a superhero or demigod and human beings are not perfect. We all make mistakes over and over again and life goes on. I insist you’re not an idiot, a fool or a jerk, you just made a mistake like everyone else. Be forgiving with yourself and others, do not blame yourself over and over again, do not be so harsh on yourself, accept your shortcomings with sincerity, and do not deny them.

  The way to personal growth and success is a “three-in-one” process:

  1. Recognize and accept your mistakes.
  2. Learn from them.
  3. Work hard in order to overcome them and move on with your life.

  A man who has committed a mistake and doesn’t correct it is committing a bigger mistake, #justtothepoint, Anawim.

  

  Have you done something bad? Have you made many mistakes? Me too – it is what we do about it that counts!

  Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do, Benjamin Franklin.

  Every time you criticize and beat yourself up for not doing something right, for making a mistake or a fool of yourself, you are harming yourself, you are doing nothing positive for the person you have offended or hurt, you will not be a better person, you are not closer to achieving your goals, etc.

  Quite the contrary, stop this right now, and focus on what you can do to repair the damage. Apologize sincerely: “I’m really sorry” — do not ever let the next word be ‘but’, do not ruin your apology with excuses! Keep it short and simple: “I made a mistake. Please forgive me.” Correct your behavior and move on. Try to improve as a human being, to grow, and turn your stumbling stones into stepping stones.

• Ignore the criticisms and complaints.

  Ignore those who don’t care about you, the naysayers who tried to discourage you from achieving your goals, who are only there to bring you down as well as the haters, the doubters, and the small minded. Trust in yourself and just do the work you believe in. Let them go. Choose to ignore and forget them.

  Some times, criticisms can help you to detect errors, dark and unknown spots, and therefore, they become opportunities to learn, change, and grow. It is also important to recognize that there are people who can tell the difference between criticizing you as a person and what you’ve done wrong, and others who really do not, it’s just an excuse to raise their self-esteem at your expense.

  

  Stay away from negative people, as they always have a problem for every solution, Mordecai Octavius.

  On the other hand, negative people tend to be hyper-critical of others. They always see the glass as half empty, life from a very negative and narrow perspective, and blatantly ignore the positive aspects. They complain, criticize, whine about anything, and are hardly ever happy.

  They are not good people to be around with. Do not let their negativity discourage you, even worse, drag you down. Stay away from them like the plague. You are only interested on recreating your reality with joy, hard work, and enthusiasm. Think positively, understand your mistakes and failures, and all setbacks as opportunities to grow, excel, and achieve your goals.

• Stop comparing yourself to others, what they are doing, what they have, etc., and focus on what you want to achieve and what needs to be done.

  Do not put anyone on a pedestal, do not idealize anyone. Do you really think that comparing yourself with others will lead you somewhere? You know the answer, it is a big fat and ugly NO.

  Instead, try to learn from them. How have they achieved their goals? What strategies and mindsets are they using? What are their communication styles? Why and how have they got that job, that relationship, etc.? Then, focus on these strategies and imitate them. Work hard and efficiently with dedication, perseverance, and resilience in order to get things done, and above all, do not stop and give up until you achieve your goals.

• Learn to be happy. Love your work. Do what you like doing, what excites your passion and really inspires and motivates you.

  

• Be who you really are, do not change for anyone.

  Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness, Allen Ginsberg.

  Don’t compromise yourself - you’re all you have, John Grisham.

  Remember to be true to yourself and do not change to please others, make a good impression, meet up to people’s expectations, but do things your own way. Do not be a copy-paste of someone else. It is your life, your moment. You only get one chance, one opportunity, live it the way you want by making the most of it. Accept the challenge: be true, be yourself!

  

  This implies the following: Just do what feels right and what you need to do! Take the initiative in life in the way you always wanted to, but never previously dared, grab your life by the horns and never look back! In particular, do not let anyone decide for you. Of course, this means accept responsibility, own your own successes, as well as your failures.

• Have a good image about yourself, value yourself as someone who is worthy of respect and love, who tries to help others, who can work hard and is able to overcome obstacles and challenges on the road to success.

Do not put too much weight on the opinions of others. Nobody can really understand who you are and how you feel (circumstances, problems, personal history, emotions, etc.), but you. Therefore, nobody can really judge you fairly and most people do not care.

People’s opinions should have quite a relative value to you. It is also important to notice that you should accept others as they are. If someone acts rudely, impolitely, offensively, or insultingly towards you, you are far better off resisting the temptation to respond in kind. These negative feelings, thoughts, and actions will do you more harm than good.