A positive explanatory style should also be applied when we interact with our friends, family members, and acquaintances. For example, I have a friend which used to tell me “virgin Mary appears to every fool” each time I achieved something or did something right.
In other words, he stated that my good results were pure luck, they were basically temporary and external, and therefore, not likely to happen again. This behaviour is not advisable. On the contrary, it is better to be optimistic and provide positive explanations which are:
As we are positive and confident about our possibilities, we should also feel positive about our friends and family members and see their true potential - no matter what problems or issues they may have!
If they tell you about a positive outcome, make sure that:
Listen to them actively and empathetically.
Provide them with active and positive feedback. For example, if your kids achieve good marks, you could say something like: “I’ve always believed that if you put in the work, results will come,” “You made it! I am so proud of you. It proves that you are working very well. Let’s celebrate it!”
If you have a friend who has got over a troubled relationship: “I always knew that you should both be together. Your love is so great and sincere that there is no obstacle that you cannot overcome.” If a friend has finally got the perfect job: “You really deserve it! You’re such a hard worker, fast learner, and able to work in a variety of settings.”
Normally, we focus and even bask in the negative side of things. Therefore, it makes a lot of sense to congratulate ourselves on our and their successes, celebrate them, offer our friends and family members our optimistic and positive view of things, and thank them for helping and supporting us.