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Active and constructive response

Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals, L. J. Isham.

Listening is an art that requires attention over talent, spirit over ego, others over self, Dean Jackson.

Such responses are not just for romantic relationships, they should also be used in parent-child communication, in the workplace, etc. But, what do we mean by active and constructive responses?

Imagine that he or she tells us a positive outcome or event, for example, he climbed the job ladder, her salary rose 5.7%, he/she passed an important exam, etc.

This response is not matched with the essential non-verbal cues: joy and happiness are not displayed, rather apathy and lack of interest is manifested. Typically, there will be no visual contact or the message is said in a flat demeanor.

Some good news, such as “I have passed all my exams! I got the job!, etc.” are met with “Shall we go? Shall we eat now? I have been working the whole damn day and I need to chill out for a few hours. What’s on TV tonight?” By changing the subject quickly, you’re showing very blatantly that you don’t care much about her/him.

We are not always in a good mood or attitude. We’re often busy, tired, and ― to put it mildly ― not very eager to listen to our partners. This is especially true after a long day at work. However, a healthy relationship requires effective and constant communication where both partners listen and provide active and constructive responses to each other.

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