How to deal with absent minded people, how to stop being one

I might look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy and killed many mother fuckers, Anonymous.

In class, I am physically present, but mentally quite absent, Anonymous.

The absent minded person is forgetful, oblivious to ordinary matters, and doesn't pay enough attention and consideration to what they are doing right now. They are distracted with issues, thoughts, or concerns, and failed to focus on things needed to be done or remembered in that moment.

Depression, anxiety, stress, lack of sleep, and taking some drugs can cause forgetfulness.

How do you deal with absent minded people?

• Mind your own business, focus on your work. You are not going to change them so you need to accept them as they are.
• Use time management tools to be more productive and monitor your employees’ progress and productivity. Set clear and achievable goals. Make sure that tasks, processes, deadlines, meetings, etc. are well-defined, understood, and organized, and stick to them, so that problems and their causes are easily identified when they occur.
• Use technology to track deadlines and monitor task progress and overall project progress, to remind people of appointments, deadlines, meetings or tasks that needed to be completed.
• Schedule a meeting to discuss the problem with them. Explain why you are concerned or their behavior is a problem for the company but without being judgemental, like the effect on customer service, potential loss of revenue, or delays in project completion and overbudget projects. Act confidently, be assertive, not aggressive. Try to offer a positive and constructive dialogue to create a plan of action and move forward.
• Build a culture of loyalty, trust, and wellbeing to support your employees in all aspects of their wellbeing. Be thankful, recognize your employees’s hard work and accomplishments.
• Provide them with the resources, competences, tools, and training needed to feel confident and get their job done more professionally and efficiently.
• If their forgetfulness is the result of carelessness and/or apathy, don’t assume responsibility for them. They made their bed, now they must lie in it! They need to face the consequences of their actions, they have no one else to blame but themselves. It could be time to initiate disciplinary procedures.
• However, you should exercise the carrot-and-stick approach, that is to say, offer them positive reinforcement, support, and praise when they really improve.
• If the forgetfulness is sudden, severe or unusual or you have observed serious performance problems, you may need to send them for a medical examination. Be tactful and mindful because they could feel embarred, surprised or defensive.

How to stop being absent minded

• Create routines and habits that will stick and change your life, e.g., put everything in the same place every time, park in the same area, have a to-do list and an agenda, set alarms for events and to act as reminders, use sticky notes and visual cues to remember important tasks, etc.
• Don’t sweat and get distracted on the meaningless, useless, and insignificant things but instead, focus on the things that truly matters, what you can control and change, what is really meaningful and significant.
• Simplify your life, live a more minimalistic lifestyle, remove junk from your life (get rid of superfluous and unnecessary stuff), and declutter your desktop, home, and life.
• Strive to focus on your actions and tasks, and giving your best effort here and now. Keep your focus, and every time when your mind wanders away to other matters, stop and notice that, and then go back to focus on what you are currently doing.
• Avoid multitasking, being slave to a rigid schedule and a busy and jam-packed agenda full of meetings, tasks, and deadlines, and focus on one thing at a time. Learn to delegate and say no tactfully to things you don’t want to do or don’t have time for.
• Quit smoking, drinking, and taking drugs. Live a more active lifestyle, do more exercise and outdoor activities, and watch less television. Sleep seven to eight hours on average. Eat a more balanced and nutritious diet. Disconnect from mass and social media, your smartphone, and video games, read a good book, expand your social circle, engage in good old-fashioned conversations, and reconnect with life, God, and the world around you.
• Do not dwell on worries, fears, and problems. Love yourself, be positive and optimistic, and believe in the beauty of your dreams. Become a doer and not a talker. Get things done!
• It is very important to know when to stop, rest, and unwind (e.g., practice meditation, yoga, pray, spend time in nature, hobbies, etc.), learn to prioritize and focus on your goals and objectives. You should find ways to work less and smarter, not work more and harder. Learn to be creative and resourceful in getting what you need for less time, money, and effort.
• Avoid being bored (and then distracted) by asking questions, taking notes more creatively (e.g., use multicolored highlighters to color-code your notes, put important facts or definitions in boxes, add doodles and images to your notes, make lists with bullet points or numbers), joining the conversation, doing tasks in a different way, drinking water or eating a piece of fruit, etc.
• Switch off your phone and focus on what you are doing.
• Pray, meditate, practice a breathing exercise or clear your mind. Find a moment of peaceful, restorative, and enriching silence to live a more present, delightful, and meaningful life, to find happiness, purpose, and peace.
• Stay mentally active, e.g., read more, play brain training games (puzzles, crosswords, rebus, chess, bridge, etc.), solve math problems, IQ, or science quizzes, etc.
• Seek help in friends, family members, teachers, or professionals, e.g., counsellors, psychologists, therapists, and psychiatrists.